Change?!

Okay, so recently I've been so stressed about school, university applications, portfolio prep, and work. I'm actually sad to say that I have officially handed in my resignation letter to my work at Sears last Monday. :( After over a year working at my job at Sears, I have decided that I should quit my job in order to spend more time worrying about my future and so that I can focus better on my school work.

I guess I just the type of person who doesn't like change because I know that this change doesn't just affect me, but other people as well. I should be relieved but for some reason, I don't want to quit. In full honesty, I didn't want to quit, but my parents convinced me to so that I can focus on my university prep.  I'm not trying to blame them because I know that I set my standards way too high for myself. It's my first job, or should I say, WAS my first job, and it's sort of hard to let go because I made such good relationships with the people at Sears, and they made me feel so comfortable working there.

Honestly, I really like having that extra money in my pocket, but I think it's for the best (or that's what I'm trying to convince myself). Although, all this money I have been saving up is for university, so I hope that what I've earned from the past year and a bit will cut a few costs off my tuition. I guess because I know that there are so many people out there that I know from school who have a job, volunteer regularly as well as have an over 90 average, it makes me feel like I'm not as smart of a person that I thought I was. Not trying to be a downer or sound like a depressed teenager, but I really don't like change! It might also be because my best friend just recently got a job, and I KNOW that she will be guilting me about how she has so much on her plate and I shouldn't be complain about my work load because she has so much more to do... Knowing her, I know that THIS is the reason that I am scared for quitting. It's a stupid reason, but I really dislike when people think that they can use my disadvantages to their advantage by making me feel guilty and weak. Hopefully you know what I'm trying to say... I just don't want to feel left out and weak.

Although, I do have until the end of this month before I officially resign, which gives me lots of time to say goodbye :)

Sorry about my vent about my life... I just really needed to get that out there. Hopefully someone will understand my stress at the moment :S  

Thanks

-Aine Lasagna

xx.